a. paranoid, auditory hallucinations, very neurotic, fairly bipolar
b. hallucinations are very persuasive. influence personal belief more strongly than reason or intuition, hijacks both.
c. still, the following assumes partial or complete validity to a selection of the shit i hear
1. he (doesn’t) know(s)
2. he (doesn’t) know(s) right now
3. he knew
4. he didn’t know
5. you (don’t) know
6. you don’t want to know
so the gist of the delusion is that there is a conspiracy withholding some sort of (i hope vital) knowledge from me. if it were something petty or trivial i think THAT would make me lose my shit, having dealt with hearing this shit non stop for so fucking long.
but perhaps the most infurating ones are 5 and 6. really. i don’t want to know? think i’d flip out? think i couldn’t handle the truth? can your retarded ass even remember the context of that line in that fucking movie? apparently not.
way to be on some childish ass church/government shit. witholding information and taunting someone about it is apparently something humans are hardwired to do, just as sure as shitting, breathing, and abusing anyone we have a minimal amount of control over. this has the feeling of a really simple game being played in which im the console, and i never get to be shut off, unless at some point i shut myself off with suicide. i hope it’s a really fun game, like game of the year shit. maybe you should think about just fucking telling me.
for the sake of argument, say it was something that i absolutely should not know. say, this information will explode my head like the bald guy in scanners. maybe it would be a good idea not to remind me every 15 minutes that this information exists, that i can’t handle it, and that i don’t know what it is. and that also 7. im retarded.
alright lets trade fucking places. conveniently (for you i think) that isn’t possible. so eat my fucking cock. fuck you.